A plan for when you are wigged out to the max.

If you're a choleric temperament, this is a must read.

Short version: When you are having a very horrible no good start to your day, and you are wigged out beyond all wigging out, stick to this plan and in this order:

• Send a text to your prayer warrior friends, or family members that you're having a rough day and that you could use a prayer.

• Get dressed. Put makeup on.

• Books. Games. Movies. For everyone.

• Read a couple of picture books with your kids, and then let them be. Ignore them as much as possible without locking yourself in a room and read the latest historical fiction novel you have been recommended on the couch while you read. Tell the older ones to go play a game. Once the husband is home, you can then lock yourself in your room.

• Remind yourself that letting your kids watch Sound of Music or Mary Poppins is a great thing.

Optional:

• Go to the library and refresh the stash if needed. Call ahead if going into the library with your children causes you to have a slight panic attack, and you want to do a pick up instead. Tell them that you trust their judgment and that you need some good picture books and family movies.

• Get a coffee in the drive thru - get a decaf.

• Put chicken tenders or already grilled chicken in the oven for supper. Get yourself a salad kit. Use paper plates.

• Make arrangements for a babysitter or a morning with Grandma or husband takes a half day off from work sometime in the next week. This will help your brain know that a "break" is coming.

What you won't be doing: staying in your sweats, eating whatever junk you want, and locking yourself in the bathroom to scroll endlessly on your phone. WE MUST AVOID THIS SITUATION. This is what I call taking a trip to Planet Whatever. Your mindset is just "whatever." "I don't care." "It doesn't matter."

It does matter. Because you matter. Your kids matter. And to say that it doesn't matter is believing that you aren't really responsible for yourself or for your children. Can you control everything? No. Are you still responsible for things? Yes. When you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, angry and irritable, you are responsible for giving your family a day that is centered around books, games and movies. Not in a self-indulging, lazy way. But in a "we just need to remember what really matters" kind of way - and being a decent human being around your children matters. Enjoying time with your children matters. It doesn't mean you need to be super mom today and have all the things done. Once you can relax and take the pressure off, it's suddenly a lot easier to do one load of laundry or to get dinner on the table.

Long version: Maybe you're postpartum. Maybe you're not. Maybe all the adult things have hit the jackpot and there is just a lot of normal life stuff that comes to a head all at once. Babies, jobs, mortgages, aging parents, kid's needs, your needs, whatever. Sometimes you find yourself in a season of just being a little "wigged out" for lack of a better term. You're not quite sure what is wrong, but something is off. Perhaps you're not getting enough sleep. Maybe you need some supplements. You might need to get a little more disciplined and less idealistic about exercising. You have lowered your expectations. You have gotten good at saying "no," to unnecessary things. You have taken everything off your proverbial "plate" that you can. And yet, something is still off - you're still irritable and you still need to get through your day with all these little (and sometimes not so little) people around you. Here's the plan:

BOOKS. GAMES. MOVIES.

That's it. That's the plan. Get everybody dressed. Make beds. Brush teeth. Nurse the baby. And then:

BOOKS. GAMES. MOVIES.

In that order preferably, but it's really up to you, of course. Will the house be a mess? Yes. Will you be enjoying your life a little bit? Also yes.

Now, let's say you are wigging out, and overstimulated beyond belief. Perhaps you need a break from the children. Great. Take it. Get lost in a book between (and during if you're that talented) nursing sessions. Tell the kids the game plan (pun intended!) and say that they can read books, play games, or watch a movie. If you need a refreshed stash, head out to the library if you have a good one and pick out all the

BOOKS. GAMES. MOVIES.

Try to put anything else that "needs to be done" out of your mind. All that needs to be done is supper. And yes, you can order chicken tenders to pop in the oven to pick up when you go to the library. Grab a coffee at the drive thru while you're at it. My point is - don't make life harder than it needs to be at this moment. Simplify the task at hand. Relieve yourself of the pressure to get all the things done. I'll say it again:

Don't make life harder than it needs to be at this moment. Simplify the task at hand. Relieve yourself of the pressure to get all the things done.

This might seem like the dumbest advice from someone who takes mental health very seriously, and it might seem like I'm joking given the seriousness of the situation. (And yes, sometimes, it is very serious, and yes, you should also reach out to tell your husband, a friend, a family member that you are struggling and need a prayer. Also make sure you have an appointment with your counselor or therapist or coach as soon as can be made possible.)

Now, if you're a phlegmatic temperament, you probably don't want to take this advice - in fact, you probably need to go load the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. Your problem is most likely not the pressure to get all the things done. You have most likely already won the "being present in the moment" award.

I recommend watching a movie in the DVD format - for some reason it seems a bit more focused than an overwhelming list of options on the Disney channel. I mean, do whatever you need to do. If you don't have a great library with a great unscratched DVD selection, then the Disney channel it is. I would not hand a child the remote and turn your back and say, "Here you go. Have a great day." You are not moving to Planet Whatever. You are still the mom. You are still in charge.

Then, make arrangements for a babysitter to come over or to have the kids go to grandmas or something that week. Look forward to that time. Know that it will happen, and your brain will be able to calm down a little bit.

Do I know that this plan works? Yes.

I have employed it many times myself.

I have had to remind myself that as elementary as this plan sounds, it helps me to relax and lengthen my fuse just a little bit.

Extra points comes from sitting outside and getting extra exercise! If you have the energy, take the kids to the park, or some other fun place where they can exert themselves. Everyone is much happier when we get some manual movement. Endorphins are real.

Allow yourself to accept the overwhelm without having to fix it right away. It's ok to feel annoyed with your kids. It's ok to feel like you're never caught up with the house, the laundry, the meals. It's ok because that's life. But you get to choose what you want to focus on today. Focus on getting through the day without losing your shitake mushrooms. Relax. Breathe. Read. Play.